


Moments Before the Storm

by the_lie_eternal



Category: Poets of the Fall
Genre: AU, Gay Love, Justice, LGBTQ, LGBTQ rights, Love, M/M, i'm weak for this, implied jari/jani, protest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 15:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16495625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_lie_eternal/pseuds/the_lie_eternal
Summary: His love is justification.





	Moments Before the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> This whole fanfic came to me and my buddy FanFicReader01 as we listened to "Moments Before the Storm" off Ultraviolet album and noticed that Marko clearly not "is love it's justification" sings, as written in the lyrics.
> 
> He sings "his love is justification" and this gave us the idea for this songfic.

_I will close my eyes to see your face again_

_Let the love I feel rebuild my faith through pain_

_I remain defences down, heart in my mouth_

 

I let out a sigh as I stared at the ceiling of a bedroom I would probably never see again. Counting minutes after minutes, I dedicated to thoughts that made me happy … thoughts about him. I checked the person next to me, a quite beautiful woman actually, sleeping peacefully after a rather interesting evening we had. Too bad that I was the least to enjoy it but how else should I find the right one.

You just have to find the right woman, they told me, you can’t love a man, that’s not right. I loved him, I was sure of that. Jaska loved me too, we were both deeply sure that what we felt for each other was more than just friendship.

But no. You can’t love a person the same gender as you, it’s not right, unnatural, unhealthy, all that stuff. We started to believe them, we became more distanced to each other and unconsciously stopped almost every physical contact we had. We used to be friends, best friends … lovers.

I didn’t know what he was up to while I worked myself from date to date, bed to bed and false promises to false promises. Was it so difficult to find the right woman for me? Why have I never felt anything for them as strong as my feelings for Jaska were? Maybe I just needed even more patience.

 

_I still hear your voice, calling my name,_

_And like every new choice, it carries the promise,_

_That we’ll find our love, that we’re not just like moths to flame,_

_Already lost, moments before the storm_

 

A sting went through my body as I saw Jaska’s name popping up on my phone screen. We had been texting every now and then, but more than awkward small-talk never resolved of it. This day, to my surprise, it was different.

He asked me for a meetup, in person. He was insisting on it to be as soon as possible, I asked why but he kept the reason a secret. I would be a bad friend to not meet him – although we haven’t been that much of friends for all this parted time.

We kept texting after planning out our meetup, he asked me how I was doing, if I found a partner and such. Obviously not and to my wonder Jaska kept being single too. I remember, before we parted completely, he was the one who assured that we will find our love, the right one. We will get over each other and swim with the other grey fishes in the pond. Being special and outstanding was wrong – we were outstanding and special … and nobody wanted us like this. We listened to what others said without thinking what would be best for us. We were like moths to flame … but inside, already lost and dammed to be godforsaken.

I caught myself with tears rolling down my cheeks as I texted with Jaska. I missed him so much.

 

_I’ll cast the telling bones to know my fate dealt hand_

_And down the beach I’ll trail your footprints in the sand, overland_

_Till I’ll kiss your brow again, I’m right here now_

 

I was trembling horribly as I parked my car at the beaches’ parking lot, unconsciously looking out for Jaska’s. I couldn’t spot it right away but that may had been because of the nervousness I felt. I asked him where he wanted to meet up, I had some café or whatever in mind, but he insisted on the beach, the abandoned part beneath the rocks. I knew why he chose that place … we visited it too many times. As children to play, as teens to illegally drink alcohol and feel cool doing it, as young adults to talk about our problems and cry into each other’s shoulders and as lovers to make out without anyone judging.

My heart was hurting as I slowly walked towards the huge rock formation. Too many memories were connected with this place … and now I was supposed to meet Jaska again. I wasn’t ready for it.

“M-Marko?” I heard a mutter just as I arrived at our hideout, our second home. It came over me like a storm as I looked into his eyes … I loved him. We jumped into each other’s arms, closely holding onto each other for several minutes, not a single word spoken except the muffled sobs, crying out for help.

“I missed you … I missed you so fucking much.” I stuttered in tears as I searched for his eyes again. He didn’t say a word as we looked at each other but I knew how he felt, I could read it in his face. I began to smile as I brushed my hand through his dark and soft hair, he grew it much longer than I was used to, just as his beard. He was still beyond handsome, nevertheless. His face filled with tears and hurt lightened up as he saw my smile, gently he laid his hands in my neck and pulled me into a kiss, so passionate and loving that I felt like I had been sent straightly to heaven – except the fact that I wasn’t straight.

That was what I missed for all this time, not any other person on this world could make me feel what I did when I kissed Jaska.

“Let me tell you this once and for all.” Jaska began as we parted, exhausted and lightheaded. “Never will we ever part again, never will anyone try to talk us out of our love ever again. I love you, Marko, and I will never love someone else than you, do you understand that?” he sobbed, tears continuing to flow over his face.

“I love you too, Jaska. Never again … never.” I muttered and pulled us close together again.

 

_I still hear your voice, calling my name,_

_And like every new choice, it carries the promise,_

_That we’ll find our love, that we’re not just like moths to flame,_

_Already lost, moments before the storm_

 

It went quick after that meeting. Jaska and I – officially only as friends, obviously – got ourselves a cozy new flat together. The distance between us was unbearable, we had to be close to each other against all odds and hate. My best friend Olli, he obviously knew about my sexuality and relationship, had been critical about us moving together. He wasn’t against our love, of course not, but he was fearing for us. People knew us, they knew about the homosexual past we had and seeing us back living in the same flat … I understood Olli’s worries.

I tried explaining, I tried to make him understand how important we were for each other and how much we needed each other in this dark and hateful world. After discussions and discussions, Olli finally gave in and even added an idea that brought new fire in our lives – for good.

 

_Are we collateral damage_

 

A protest. We knew we weren’t the only people being oppressed and dragged down by the society. We had allies, all around the world. Nobody could tear us apart again, nobody should be teared apart again, that’s what we wanted to fight for.

Equal rights.

Jaska immediately started shout outs on several social medias, calling in people who wanted to support us, maybe even people from our country and city. Sad reality was that it all went forward very slowly. There was a small resonance but more than people from the other side of the world weren’t in.

It was tiring and I was the first one to lose my hopes and motivation to fight. Society will never accept us, they will continue harassing and discriminating us … there was no way this fight somehow could be successful.

 

 

_His love is justification_

 

I sat crying in our living room when Jaska walked in, immediately dropping everything he had to do and trying to comfort me. Could he understand?

“Hey … what’s up, why are you crying?” he hummed gently and pulled me into a hug.

“We- we will n- never get enough res- resonance to change s- something.” I sobbed and buried my face in my lover’s chest. He hummed, stroking his hands over my back.

“We have to be patient. Rome wasn’t built in one day either. Our supporters, they have to trust us. They don’t know if we are a radical hate group or really a protest group for equal rights. Give them time … we will reach our goal, sooner or later.” Jaska assured me. It was difficult but he was more right that I wanted to admit. Patience … I proved enough patience in all this time he and I were parted.

“There are more like us. Not only men loving men, also women loving women, people who aren’t happy with their gender, people who don’t love at all – everyone of us wants justice. Again, we have to give it time.” he added.

Justice.

Erratically I threw my arms around my lover, burying us both in a hug lasting for a silent but loving while.

 

_How do we sing our songs_

 

Jaska and I were equally surprised about the ringing doorbell, we had no visitors to expect and social contacts of us were so minimal, we would’ve known about someone visiting.

“Are you Marko and Jaska? From the protest group?” a smaller man with short hair, glasses asked us just as we opened the door. There was another man standing next to him, taller and messier looking.

“Who wants to know that?” Jaska replied and crossed his arms, critically eyeing the two men in front of us.

“Jari Salminen, that’s me, and my friend Jani Snellman. We belong to a secret and small community for people like you and us - the suppressed minority. We both had the same fate as you, officially we are just friends too but hell, in our home we are not just friends.” he smaller man, Jari, laughed out loud and the other man joined.

We let them in and they told us how they noticed us through social media, checked us if we really were what we were said we are … and so they ended up on front of our door. They were very fond of more fighters and together – only together – we could make our group even bigger, finally turning into a visible and hearable protest, instead of only acting online and secretly behind closed doors.

Obviously we agreed. This is what Jaska told me to wait for … support. People feeling just as we did.

We were surprised as we met the other members of their organization, much more than we expected. This had to work, I was sure of it. They will hear us, society will finally accept us.

 

_Despite_

 

We hit them like a grenade, everywhere in our country the protest groups rose out of the shadows, protesting on the streets, in schools, in offices, in parliaments, everywhere. We bloomed up, like the flowers we were. Soon I found myself next to Jaska in a march, all among our people.

Our people. Only thinking about that filled me with happiness. We weren’t a dirty minority, not anymore. People noticed us, they saw our power and our mass.

They tried to fight us, obviously, trying to silence us. Never again, that’s what Jaska promised me, never again will we be suppressed. I entwined our hands and leaned my head against his shoulder as we slowly walked down the streets, the loud crowd around us. My lover was silent, looking at me with his adorable heart-eyes. I loved him so and I could’ve screamed it out in that moment … but instead I connected our lips.

 

_In truth it’s visceral savage_

 

A shock went through my body as I was getting up to greet my lover, just to see his face as he stepped into my view. Blood stains all over his face, his nose and mouth all bruised up, his dark beard shimmering of all the blood sticking in it. He smiled at me with a shaking head.

“W- what happened to you?” I stammered as I stepped closer, his face looking worse with every step I took.

“The radicals. These motherfuckers happened. And then my fists. And then their fists.” he kept it short, stroking his hand over his face, smearing the red liquid completely over it plus his hand. “As long as we don’t have what we want … we won’t leave the house without each other.” he added and headed towards the bathroom to clean himself up.

Silently I looked after him. How they dared to attack him … a guy like Jaska.

Immediately I texted Markus, the leader of our local circle and organization of our protests. We had to be careful. They attacked Jaska, a man I wouldn’t even speak to randomly … this pure danger right in front of my door, it made me shiver and think about all the victims of this protest, of us standing up for equal rights. People died for this.

 

_This magnetic sensation_

 

With a laughter I rolled over into the arms of my lover, pulling our bodies closely against each other. The last minutes and probably even more of that were spent in intimacy and love, leading to us laying next to each other, letting our thoughts pass.

“Can you imagine that months ago we still were kind of strangers towards each other?” Jaska hummed and stared at the ceiling together with me.

“I don’t want to remember the time I spent without you.” I replied and turned my face towards him, studying his facial structure. “You have a cute nose.” I added with a chuckle. My lover also turned his face now and raised his brow in wonder.

“My nose is all you think of in this moment?” he laughed out loud.

“It’s about the little things. And I appreciate everything about you, every second of the day.” I murmured and leaned in for another wave of kisses.

 

_Cornered it becomes strong_

_And it fights, to be right, to be right_

 

We won.

The day our government finally agreed on equal rights for everyone.

Our resonance became strong, basically our small protest turned into a giant movement worldwide where “abnormal” people like us cried out for their rights. I couldn’t believe it, not after all the pain and struggle we had to go through.

Thinking about the day felt surreal …

And the moment Jaska went down on his knees and proposed to me.


End file.
